The No-Net World

Deep in your heart, you always believed

There was a barrier, a secret shield

Keeping you safe from the street

Secretly, you knew

Your good shoes and your warm lined gloves

Kept you apart, and safe

From the man with the cup in his hand

And the boy with the cardboard sign

And the woman with the bloated legs

And the girls with the begging eyes

From the weathered madwomen railing at God

And the shadows at the ashcan fires

From the need to ask, no choices left:

Mister, can you please …?

What did you, from the cushioned world

Of buffers, alternatives, other ways to turn

Of loans from family friends

Of credit cards and healthy children

Of grocers who smiled because they knew how well you ate:

What did you have in common with the concrete world of need?

Secretly, you knew, so surely you believed

You could never fall so low

Welcome to the no-net world.

Then I got fired one day

I got fired one day

Lost my job and then my house

I got fired one day.

Now your debts mount up like garbage and a layoff’s coming soon

And you have to see a doctor and insurance just pays half

And your folks who lent you money just can’t help you anymore

And the loans are coming due; still, the force field is there,

In the lining of the gloves, in the good if now used shoes

You will never stand like that goddamned bum

Holding the door at the bank

Too tired to whore or steal

Saying, Please ma’am, please ma’am, please ...

  

Then I got HIV

I got HIV

They found out

I lost my kids

I got HIV

You would never see

Hunger on the face of your child

When she came home from school there would always be

Apples and rice and chicken and beans

Milk and carrots and peas

Now there’s two days left till payday and just one last can of corn

And she’s home, laughing hungry, Hi, I’m home, Ma, what’s for lunch?

Welcome to the no-net world

Are you hungry? Good:

Ready, set, line-up, let’s go:

You can get on line on Monday for the lunch meal that’s on Tuesday

and the shelter line’s for Thursday but you have to sign up Monday

But you stayed there just last Wednesday so you can’t come back till Friday.

And the Food Stamps place is downtown

And the welfare place is uptown

And the Medicaid is westside

And the hospital is eastside

No I can’t give you a token

No I can’t give you a token

No I can’t give you a token

Don’t you know you’ll only drink?

Hell, yes.

Like a child praying to God

You believed in forever

You thought home and hearth were,

Not for everyone of course,

But surely for you:

Only in the nightmares

Rare unremembered dreams

Did you stand by the door of the bank

Saying

Yes ma'am, God bless you ma’am

Please.

Don’t get sick.

Don’t let anyone you love get sick.

Don’t be mentally ill.

Don’t lose your job.

Don’t be without money for a second.

Don’t make any mistakes.

Welcome to the no-net world.