&

My love, I see myself in a fur coat lying face down, drunk,

on the floor of the subway train, one heel lost, & I feel a

hardened man raping me, my virgin soul frost, & awards

are easy, mama says, & they may pick and choose you, but,

they don’t know you, Ms. Boss, & my father says that I am

sexy & the time after that is lost & I know I am fat,

that I cost, & before she dies, mama says she wishes

I was never born, my death in my mother’s eyes, crossed,

but my love, see this chasm & wall here & be brave for me,

come swim the swamp around me & trust it is not within me,

or if it is, come love this swamp creature until it is drained,

and look at the dead in the moat, for here they will remain,

& sit here, still, with me & I will haltingly explain

I still love, beyond scars, beyond wounds, beyond pain